Information for Stalkers
Who are you, exactly? I often go by the name, Brobdingnagian Moniker.
What is your quest? Complete world domination. Or a donut. Whichever I get first.
What is your Social Security Number? 01100010011000010110101101100001
What colour is your toothbrush? White.
How do you like your eggs? Beaten.
Who is your favourite Ninja Turtle? Raphael
Who is your favourite Spice Girl? It doesn't matter, they're all clones anyway.
Name five South American countries and your grade three teacher: Colombia, Chile, Argentina, Ecuador, Brazil, Mrs. Mindt.
By the way, you wouldn't happen to be a hot guy with long hair, would you? As one of the moderators knows, I cut my hair merely to spite her.
Clothes pins or dryers? Dryers? I fail to see how applying clothes pins dries clothes.
Broken mirrors or black cats? Black cats.
Capitalization or punctuation? Both.
OR or XOR? XOR
Fascism or communism? Communism
Old women wearing lacy thongs or fat men wearing Speedos? Fork to the eyes.
Achmed or Ashe? Ashe.
Cosette or Eponine? Your mom.
Bill Nye the Science Guy or Beakman's World? Bill.
Calgary or Edmonton? Seattle.
callmesquanky or ratatusk? Orgy.
What the World Needs Now is Love, Sweet Love...
Do you believe in love at first sight, or is it simply a matter of the chemicals in your brain playing tricks on you? I believe in attraction at first sight, but love is something formed over time.
Have you ever dated someone who owns a pair of pink underwear? No.
Have you ever made love to a vegetable? No.
Did you or did you not have sexual relations with Monica Lewinsky? That depends on your definition of "did."
Do you believe that density brought us together? I once knew someone whose body was the same exact density as a chocolate bar...
Do you ever write "u" instead of "you"? Not ever.
If you answered "yes" to the above question, do you realise that callmesquanky and ratatusk know who you are and where you live, and are planning to kill you when you least expect it? I could take 'em.
Do you realise that ratatusk is in love with you and is planning her wedding to you as we speak? Gooooood. Goooooooooooooooood.
Are you SURE you didn't have sexual relations with Ms. Lewinsky? That depends on your definition of "are."
Who has the prettiest hair: George Bush or Paul Martin? How do you guys know Pablo Diablo?
Once gay marriage becomes commonplace, whose ideals should be accepted next: those of NAMBLA or marryyourpet.com? Too lazy to research an answer for this question.
Are you anti-life or anti-choice? Pro-choice.
Why don't they just say pro-abortion or anti-abortion? Geez! PC, my good sirs and madams.
Didn't Terry Goodkind's Naked Empire suck or what? Only if it's not a chicken.
Oh My God!
Do you get offended when people make fun of religion? Not even once.
Ever noticed that believing in science is just as irrational as believing in religion? Not necessarily.
Do you believe in aliens? Yes.
ARE you an alien? Ye-- No. Nothing to see here, move along.
Do you seriously think Jesus was white? Jesus was a man of many colors. He was a hue-man.
Are you one of those people who aren't Christian, but celebrate Christmas anyway? Yes...
What is the most embarrassing crush you've ever had on a celebrity? I can't think of a celebrity I've ever found so amazingly attractive that I could have a crush on her without knowing her at all.